Why do children feel bored… can’t wait… get easily frustrated and have no real friends?

Why do children feel bored... can’t wait... get easily frustrated and have no real friends?

Many factors contribute to boredom, impatience, and frustration. As we know, the brain is malleable. Through environment, we can make the brain “stronger” or make it “weaker”. Despite all our intentions, we remould our children’s brains in the wrong direction. Here is why:

1. Technology

Processing information in a classroom becomes challenging as our kids’ brains get used to the high levels of stimulation through video games. The inability to process lower levels of stimulation leaves kids vulnerable to academic challenges.

2. Kids get everything they want the moment they ask

Kids satisfy their want immediately so they are not used to wait. The ability to delay gratification is one of the key factors for future success. To be able to delay gratification means an ability to behave and function normally under stress. Kids who cannot cope with "no" will gradually becoming less equipped to deal with even minor stressors.

3. Kids rule the world

Granting immediate desire to kids who want whatever they want, parents are sending them the wrong message: they can do what they want and not do what they don’t want. The concept of “need to do” is absent. He will have a hard time doing what is necessary to achieve that goal. For example, to pass an academic subject, he NEEDS TO study hard.

4. Endless fun

We give kids endless fun by trying to occupy their time. They have “fun” and we do the “work”. Let them help in the kitchen instead as household chore is a basic monotonous work that trains the brain to be workable and function under “boredom”. Rediscover the fun of helping parents with the household chore helps to instil a positive sense of belonging and responsibility.

5. Limited social interaction

Technology, the babysitting gadget, is not equipped to help kids develop social skills. People are more complex than the games designed. Knowing how to win a game does not necessarily help kids build a healthy human relationship. Games is also a convenient excuse for escapism and unexpressed emotion.

The brain is like a muscle that is trainable and re-trainable. You can make a difference in your child’s life by training them. Here is how:

1. Limit technology, and re-connect your kids

  • Tickle them, have pillow fights, have board game nights, go biking together, listening to their thoughts and sharing a joke or two can bring kids closer to parents.

2. Train delayed gratification

  • Make them wait! “I am bored“ time is the first step to creativity
  • Gradually increase the waiting time between “I want” and “I get”

3. Set limits

  • Make a regular schedule for meal times, sleep times, technology time, etc.
  • Think of what is GOOD for them- not what they WANT/DON’T WANT.
  • Convert things that they don’t like doing to fun & stimulating games. Ask and get them to involve but stay firm to good decision.

4. Teach your child to do monotonous work from early years

  • Folding laundry, tidying up toys, setting the table, making their bed... some boring events help rest their brain and can be equally satisfying.
  • Be creative. Be organised. Make "work" a team effort and make it fun and attainable. Compliment them when they did well.

5. Teach social skills

  • Teach them to take turn, observe, knowing the meaning of losing and winning, the importance of compromising and complimenting others, using words like “please and thank you” are some of the essential social skills that will bring out the good nature of children.

Children change the moment parents change their perspective on parenting.  Help your kids succeed in life by training and strengthening their brain sooner rather than later!

Extracts from the article kindly contributed by Victoria Prooday:

https://yourot.com/parenting-club/2016/5/16/why-our-children-are-so-bored-at-school-cant-wait-and-get-so-easily-frustrated

bored

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